On Entertainment Weekly Popwatch today, they posted trailers from two of the most notorious pieces of crap released in the 1980's: The Pirate Movie, a musical starring Kristy McNichol and Christopher Atkins, and Gymkata, an action movie starring US Olympic medalist Kurt Thomas (which sounds awesome, I know, but don't be fooled).
The Pirate Movie trailer is...memorable, of course, but there's no beating some of the narration in that Gymkata trailer.
"Combine the discipline, the timing, and the POWER of gymnastics with the explosive force of ka-ra-tey, and a new, all-powerful martial art is born!"
"He must penetrate a mountain fortress to compete in an ancient, savage ritual. They call it....THE GAME!" (How'd they come up with that name?)
"When gymnastics and ka-ra-tey are fused, the combustion becomes an explosion, and a new kind of martial arts superhero is born!"