19 May 2009

Rural's Lazy American Idol Snark-cap

Top 2 Perform

Sorry about the absence. I was busy moving back from school . . . bla bla bla. Anyway, KRIS MADE IT! WEEEE! That's about all I would have had to say, anyway.

So, about tonight. Hmmm. Not terribly inspiring. Kris and Adam both chose to re-sing what I would consider their best performances this season. Good job. It's certainly less, I dunno, affecting to see them sung for the second time, though. I honestly have no idea what the songs Simon Fuller chose for them are, and I don't really give a shit whether Kris' song 'speaks to the nature of our times' or whatever. As for that piece of shit Kara wrote for them . . . well, at least this year's final song doesn't talk about magical rainbows.

So, who will win? I'm ever so tempted to say Kris might pull an upset, but I'm still going with the safe bet of Adam. Who should win? Honestly, I would be happy with either even if Adam was getting on my nerves tonight. Have fun watching a TWO HOUR RESULTS SHOW, because I definitely won't be. That's insane.

15 May 2009

Hahahaha . . . no

Fool me once, shame on you, Mr. Howard. You're not gonna fool me again.

06 May 2009

Rural's (SUPER) Lazy American Idol Snark-cap

Top 4 Perform

Honestly, I have nothing to say about tonight. Seriously . . . How incredibly uninspiring was that? I can barely remember what anyone sang because I was so bored. When you manage to get the walking cluster fuck that is Slash to appear on your reality show, and you still produce an uninteresting hour of crap, the problem begins and ends with you.

The performances? Ummm . . . Let's see. Adam went first for what I think is the first time ever. He wore sparkly green eyeliner and sang in falsetto. Shocker. Allison's hair has purple in it now, and she sang a Janis Joplin song that her voice wasn't gravely enough to pull off. Kris and Danny sang a duet in character as two estranged, drunk brothers singing karaoke at a family reunion. Kris shook his cute little ass around in some tight-ish jeans on stage and sang The Beatles. So pretty. Pity he'll probably leave tomorrow. Danny sang an Aerosmith song and delivered, probably, the worst sung note of the entire season. Adam and Allison did something that had lots of light effects. Kara had bad hair.

I'm all out.

Completely Subjective Favorites Ranking

1. Kris Allen's ass
Kris Allen's skin
3. Kris Allen's lips
4. Adam and Allison's hair

5. Something about singing or whatever

Hi. I'm Kris Allen's ass. Don't you wanna rock the vote (wink wink)?