09 May 2008

Speed Racer (2008)

Sigh . . . I wish Hollywood would realize that obnoxious children are not funny. They just aren't. I don't want to pay money to be annoyed. This movie tried so hard to make the kid everyone's favorite character, but I really just wanted him to suffer.

Anyway, I would say that this is a film that works about 50% of the time. It has the same weaknesses and strengths of The Matrix trilogy, in fact. The action sequences (as computer game-y as they were) made for pretty thrilling viewing when the Wachowskis weren't throwing too many talking heads around (literally, talking heads), but the rest was fairly hit or miss. There was some really BIZARRE flash back techniques they used that just made everything needlessly complicated, and one in particular involving Matthew Fox at the end was laughable.

I would say pretty much every actor was severely underused, including poor Christina Ricci who barely had a point. Matthew Fox did a nice job, I would say, except in the aforementioned flash back scene. Then again, it's hard to be too good when your head is floating across the screen every 3 seconds like a ping pong ball while exposition plays out in the background.

IF you go see this, I would say IMAX is the way to go . . . unless you're prone to seizures in which case I would never see this movie. The whole thing kind of looks like the inside of a pin ball machine. There's lots of colors and sounds, and you're not sure what's going on, but it sure is fun to see.

Now, if you're going to ogle some man flesh, the Wachowski's apparently have you in mind because the guys look great in this. Emile Hirsch walks around with Danny Zuko hair the whole time looking like jail bait. There's one scene in which he walks into the kitchen after just waking up with his hair all messy in a white t-shirt that was almost worth the price of admission. Matthew Fox and Rain get to show off their chests a few times and parade around in leather suits and artfully ripped shirts, respectively. Oh . . . and I don't believe Kick Gurry ever wore sleeves.

Maybe I would have liked it more had I ever SEEN an episode of Speed Racer, but I would give it a C+, probably.

And for no reason: