Hey Internet . . . Stop Being a Douche Bag!

This is a post for Stacie's HEY, INTERNET, STOP BEING SUCH CYNICAL EFFING DOUCHEBAGS BLOG-A-THON over at Final Girl.

Basically, the idea is to write about something that you absolutely fucking adore, no sarcasm or cynicism allowed.

Now, if you knew me, you'd know that I'm fluent in both sarcasm and cynicism, so I'm definitely going to have to embrace my sense of inner positivity for this one.

As it turns out, my inner sense of positivity has a name.


MARIA VON TRAPP

If you guys don't mind, she'd like to sing a song . . . just for you.

[Blows Harmonica]

Wilder's wars and his man in a dress.
Lumet's whodunit on the Orient Express
Almodóvar's colors and flavors and queens
These are a few of my favorite things.

Jane Fonda thrillers and David Lean's work
Woody Allen's neurosis and Hal Ashby's quirk
Hitchcock, Wong Kar Wai, Alfonso Cuarón
They're who I turn to when I feel alone.

Sutherland, Dunaway, Lemmon, and Christie
McAvoy, Mortimer, Tony Leung, Knightley
America's portrait by David G. Green
I can't rhyme anymore, it's almost 2:15 (Sorry, I had to throw some negativity in here.)

When the dog bites . . .
When the bee stings . . .
When I'm feeling sad.
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel
SO BAD!

Wow. Did I really just rework a song from The Sound of Music? That's pretty damn gay.

Oh well . . .