19 April 2008

A Very Special Message from Maria Bello

Hello lovies!

I know. It's been too long . . .

. . . Since I treated you all to a shot of my lady business.

I know many of you have been wondering, "When will that Maria Bello make another movie? It's been almost a year since I've seen her naked and shouting at someone." Well, I have a message for all of you.

Fear not! 2008 gives you not one, not two, but THREE chances to see your favorite queen of histrionics in action (4 if that prude Rob Cohen allows The Mummy: The Tomb of the Dragon Emperor to be as genius as I know it can be). I scream, I suffer, I have akward and decidedly unerotic sex . . . all the things you've come to desire, nay, EXPECT from a Maria Bello performance.

I know some of you were disappointed with my performance in Flicka. It's understandable. All I can say is that I tried my best, but Michael Mayer didn't think a movie about a girl's relationship with her horse needed a money shot. Crazy, right?

I hope you enjoy all 2008 has to offer. See you at the theatre!


J.D. said...

Yeah, she wasn't all that great in AHoV.


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