So . . . I Finally Saw 'The Wicker Man' (2006)

Alice's Sense of Shame Doesn't Live Here Anymore

I could give this movie a proper review, but, really, what's the point?

Sure, I could discuss the plot. But really all that happens is Nicolas Cage goes to an island populated entirely be Shrewish Lesbian Honey Witches™, throws on a bear suit, punches some women, and dies. That's it. Sure, Ellen Burstyn gets to dance around like Puck from 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' with her face painted like Mel Gibson's in 'Braveheart', but, that's not necessarily interesting or campy enough to make the movie worth your while. You'd probably just be better off watching this YouTube video of all the best bits spliced together:


Most of this stuff happens in the last 20 minutes, and there's a lot of Nicolas Cage grimaces and 'IT'S A DREAM-no, it's not-BUT IT IS' moments that you have to get through before getting to the Leelee Sobieski throat kick.

Oh . . . and P.S. Aaron Eckhart, I saw you! Don't even think you can get away with being in this. Because you can't.

Nicolas Cage Confuses Me

I came across this on Joe's Movie Corner and something about it just struck me.


Now, maybe it's just me, but how hard is this poster trying to make Nicolas Cage look like The Statue of Liberty? Well, the statue of liberty with a bad hair piece...but still. Seriously?

But I guess it makes sense because, to me anyway, nothing says 'Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses...' like a movie in which Nicolas Cage teams up with Diane Kruger and the mentally retarded guy from Gigli and kidnaps the president in order to clear his ancestor of aiding in the assasination of Abraham Lincoln.